A Note to All The Brides Affected by COVID-19

Planning your wedding and getting married is supposed to be one of the happiest (albeit stressful) times of your life, but because of the current COVID-19 outbreak for many brides your fairytale has taken a devastating turn. My heart is currently breaking for all of the brides that are having to cancel or postpone their weddings due to the Corona Virus. Having just been through the planning process myself, I know first hand how much blood, sweat, and tears goes into orchestrating your perfect wedding. Most Brides dreamt of this day their whole lives and to have so much time and effort cast aside with no real end in sight, is such a blow. 

Although the pictures tell a different story, my road down the aisle was not an easy one. Honestly I was fighting my own virus of sorts, a silent presence that crept into my life and turned it upside down. While I can’t get into specifics, I just want to offer a sympathetic ear of someone that understands how insanely frustrating it can be to feel completely out of control of the circumstances surrounding the biggest day of your life. It sucks. The six months leading up to my wedding were some of the hardest and most painful of my life. Luckily I found comfort and strength through a renewed relationship with God, the support of Christian and some amazing friends. Ultimately God really used that time in my life to strengthen and prepare me for my upcoming marriage (and believe me he’s still not done haha). Even in the darkest times, there is God’s purpose at work…even if it is hard to see it. 

So today if you are one of the brides affected, I just want to say how incredibly sorry I am. I also want to share some of the things I did to cope when everything around me felt completely out of my control.

1. I started doing a daily devotional in the morning. The one I used before our wedding was: 100 Days to Brave: Devotions for Unlocking Your Most Courageous Self by Annie F. Downs (also available here). I can’t tell you how many mornings I would open up that devotional and just burst into tears. The words on the page were exactly what I needed to hear, and I felt God’s presence so deeply. It was such a great reminder from Him first thing in the morning, “You’ve got this Ashley, and I’ve got you too.” I just started a new 7 week Bible Study called Seamless: Understanding the Bible as One Complete Story, recommended by my friend Katey McFarlan of Chronicles of Frivolity (she is such a great resource, if you aren’t following her you should). I will share more once I get further along with it. I also upgraded to this She Reads Truth Bible, and am LOVING it so far. 
2. I started going to therapy again. Yes, again. I’ve been seeing the same therapist off and on since I was 17 years old. I am a HUGE fan of talk therapy, it has helped me so much over the years. Just having someone objectively listen to you and help you work through things can be so invaluable. I know a lot of people shy away from therapy and I totally get it. But if you’ve been thinking about it, just try one session and see how you feel after. No harm in trying! I also will say that finding a therapist is like any other relationship in your life. Not everyone will be a good fit, I went through a couple of different therapists before finding my current one. Also, if you’re worried about cost I would advise you looking into therapists that offer a sliding scale for payment. A little research goes a long way. PS. If you live in Dallas and want a recommendation, feel free to email me!
   
   
3. I started working out. Working from home can be a bit isolating to begin with, and when you’re under immense pressure or depressed that isolation can be magnified. Having a concrete reason to get out of the house and get my blood moving was super helpful. Starting my day that way 3x a week, helped me cut through the fog of my anxiety. Honestly this past week not being able to go to the gym, has already started to negatively affect me, which is why I researched the best at home workout out apps (I posted my favorites here – many of them have a week-90 day free trial period, which is awesome). 
   
   
4. I started asking my friends for weekly prayer requests. This helped me look beyond myself, my feelings, my problems, and realize that a lot of people are going though it. Everybody has their stuff, and letting my friends know that I was there to listen helped us connect on a deeper level.
   
   
5. We joined a church here in Dallas called Junius Heights. We’re only a few months in, but it has already made such an impact on our lives. I find myself looking forward to Sunday services all week, and am actually sad when we are out of town and have to miss. I love getting to hear what Pastor Travis has to say, and getting to connect with the other members in fellowship. Sadly services are cancelled for the foreseeable future, but you can watch on Facebook live Sundays, at 10:30am CST. 

I hope that sharing my coping tools, helps y’all in this tough time. I will be praying for y’all! I also rounded up a few helpful articles for what to do if you ultimately have to cancel, alter, or postpone your wedding (many of these were recommended by my Wedding Planner Heather).

 

1. We Spoke to 15+ Luxury Wedding Vendors About What to Expect When Postponing Your Wedding by Harper’s Bazaar

2. Need to Postpone (or Cancel) Your Wedding? Here’s How to Do It
   by Brides

3. The Coronavirus and Your Wedding
   by Budget Savvy Bride

4. What to Do About Your Wedding During the Coronavirus Pandemic
   by WeddingWire

5. How to Postpone Your Wedding Amid the COVID-19 Pandemic: 
   A step by step guide on what to do, when.
   by The Knot